If the chain moves back and forth, that is the man. If the chain spins in small circles, that is the woman. Hold an iron chain over each lesbian’s head. Hold it in front of the lesbians’ noses for thirty seconds. Whoever corrects you first and most forcibly is the man. Say something false about bike maintenance. If neither laughs, check who has the roomiest pockets. If they both have the audacity to wear pants, tickle their knees.
If that person is also explaining why “The Blue Danube” was used in Squid Game, then they are undoubtedly the man. Start playing Johann Strauss’s “The Blue Danube.” When the couple begins to waltz, pay close attention to who leads.
